What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

How do you feel about the impending end of what Donald Trump calls "the Green New scam"?

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

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“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

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Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Were you ever in love with your teacher?

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

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Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Make Nazis afraid again!

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Why are people of mixed race seen as more attractive than non-mixed-race people?

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

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Shameless vixen! Trollop!

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

TEXT:

How can I watch porn on TikTok?

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

If English makes 3 additional gender terms to accommodate for XXX, XXY, and XYY people, what would be the most realistic terms for those genders?

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

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Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

What are you struggling with in your life? What would you like to have instead?

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.